No Utopia, No Paradise
by destroy this city of delusion
Summary: Katniss is trapped in a hellish dystopia, and her hunting partner tries his best to fix the damage. He can't get is back to normal, but he sure knows how to make her forget. One-shot. For Caesar's Palace Forum.


**_A/N: This is a little Galeniss friendship thing for a oneshot competition on Caesar's Palace Forum! Read and enjoy! (and yes, I did write the poem at the start!)_**

_No Utopia, No Paradise_

_**Prompt:: Lights will guide you home; and ignite your bones; and I will try to fix you - Fix You by Coldplay**_

_She writes and squirms_

_Twists and turns,_

_Dreams of days past, nightmares, not dreams._

_Like myths and legends, stories and tales,_

_But clear, vivid, true._

_But there's no escape._

_Sleep has her trapped_

_In a world that's better forgotten._

_It's no Utopia, no paradise._

_But Dystopia, a world that cannot be fixed._

_The sheets are her chains, the bedroom her cell,_

_The whole world a hell._

_Gasping for breath,_

_But no air is left, her chest strangled,_

_Her cries raw and quiet._

_She needs to get out but her brain is electric,_

_Pulsing with energy, with things she must see._

_Something snaps, there's a jolt,_

_Her brain grinds to a halt,_

_Someone setting her free,_

_Finally __she's breaking out._

"Everdeen? Mellark? Get your lazy bodies out of those luxury quilts and get your arses in the dining room now!"

"Manners please Haymitch Abernathy!" Effie's shrill tones pierce into my thoughts, leaving last night's dreams behind me. I shake off my duvet and swing round so I'm sitting on the edge of the bed. I shake my hair and then plait it to keep it off my face and head for breakfast at Haymitch's orders. As I open the door I stumble a little, and fall into the door frame. I pull myself through the doorway eventually, rubbing sleep from my eyes and getting my footing stable.

When I reach the dining room Effie and Haymitch are arguing about something that I don't want to get involved in. I just sit down and reach for a mug of the highest quality Capitol tea and a slice of bread. I spread the bread with some damson jam and eat it in silence, trying to tune out the bickering adults across the table.

Whilst in my jam induced trance, Peeta slips into the chair beside me without me noticing. He is warm, probably due to tossing and turning in bed last night. I pour him a mug of the tea, as he tucks into an apple.

"Excited about seeing your family?"

Peeta chews the apple in his mouth thoughtfully, "Kind of. Maybe for once my Mum will value me. It's just a shame it took going through the worst thing of my life for her to accept me. But I can't say I'm thrilled to see them again."

"Hmm…I am so glad to see Prim again. I just hope they have survived without me. Gale promised he wouldn't let them starve, but there's only so much game he can hunt, and he is supporting two families."

"Food won't be a problem now, we're victors." He squeezes my hand but I don't feel any better. He doesn't know how I used to feel, when has he had to provide for his family? Food was never a problem for him anyway.

"I see you're getting in the spirit already. You better keep this love thing up y'know."

I can bet you Peeta is grinning. But I just bow my head and stare at the crumbs in my lap, wanting to get away. Not much longer until I can get back to the woods and be home again.

When we arrive, the crowd cheer, noise buzzing all around us, but all I can focus on is Gale smiling in the distance, with an ecstatic Prim on his shoulders. She blows a kiss to me and Gale laughs. Peeta is gripping my hand, and until Effie leads us offstage I can't let go.

Whilst we wait for the car to take us to the Victor's Village, Peeta starts the one conversation I really wanted to avoid having. Ever.

"What do we do now Katniss?" He grabs both my hands so I am facing him, and his big blue eyes gaze into mind and hold me there, "Because I don't want this to end."

"Don't want what to end Peeta? We don't 'have' anything!"

"But us, the kiss, the nightlock. What are you talking about Katniss?"

Suddenly I see the hurt in his eyes and I don't want to hurt him. But I can't let him think that this is real, it would be unfair to him.

"Sorry Peeta, it was great, but I can't keep it up like this. I think we should just try and forget. At least when we can. I'd love to stay friends, but this love thing, it just isn't me."

"I don't want to forget." His voice is small but I can see he knows where I am coming from.

"Maybe sometime I will be in 'that place', but I'm not there now. And if anything is going to work both of us need to be in 'that place'." A tear rolls down his cheek and I wipe it away with my handkerchief, I suddenly remember that my family are standing just outside the door, the family that I haven't seen in weeks and spent those weeks thinking I was going to die. "I'm sorry Peeta, I have to go and see my family, and they need me right now."

So I just leave him there. And when I get out the door I see no-one waiting for Peeta. Maybe his idiots of a family thought that running a bakery was more important than their son. But I don't think about this for long as I spot my family to the left of the door. I bend down and Prim runs towards me crying, my mother watches from a distance, not trying to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. I realise how much they missed me, I know I can't leave them for that long again.

"Prim, Prim, Prim!" I choke through my tears. She breaks the hug and I stand up facing my mum. After a moment of silence we embrace, and I relax. This is definitely home.

"Wait, where's Gale?" I ask, suddenly realising that something is missing. A whole load of thoughts race my mind. What if he thought I was with Peeta for real and got jealous? What if he is mad at me for conforming to the Capitol expectations by kissing Peeta just for food?

"He told me to tell you that he is in the woods. Waiting for you." My mum smiles suspiciously. But before she can ask any questions I am off. I need to be back in the woods, hunting, laughing with Gale, trading at the Hob. I need everything to be back to normal.

I stop at my house to change into my hunting gear and out of that itchy dress Effie made me wear. I am scared of what Gale is going to ask me about the games, but my excitement to see him is more than that, so I don't hesitate once as I change, and I am out of the door and under the fence in no time at all.

I crunch over the fallen autumn leaves, no longer worried about scaring the game away. I just needed to see my best friend again. He can't fix anything right now, but he can sure make things better when he wants to.

"Hey Catnip." It's a traditional opening to our conversations, but it makes me feel warm and loved. He is standing in a clearing beneath some trees that we don't usually go near.

"Gale…" For some reason we don't hug yet. I don't know why, but it just doesn't feel right to hug. He holds my hand and leads me towards our log. I think we're going to sit down but he keeps on walking past it and to the spot where we ate on the morning of the reaping. An old blanket is laid on the ground covered in food I've never even seen before. Golden brown bread, red berries, soft white cheese and cracked bowls filled with nuts.

"I've been saving this stuff ever since you left. I wanted to make your return day special."

"But how did you kn-"

"I knew you would come home Catnip, I knew you could do it."

But we don't talk about the games. He knows better than that. We eat for a while in silence, but after a while he starts telling me funny stories about District 12 and the Hob. The food tastes better than anything I had in the Capitol, even though it's not the best quality. It's the taste of happiness and pleasure, the taste that the person who made this meal did it because they love you and they wanted you to enjoy it. It's no romantic gesture; Gale and I don't go in for that kind of thing. Our mutual need to survive has grown into a love for each other only real friends have, and I know that whatever happens to me he will always be there to help fix the mess I have made.

* * *

**You like? Please leave some kind of feedback in a review, because I know I'm not the best writer and I always want to improve! Thanks for reading!**


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